I Left Home Because I Was Hungry.

There Are Three Signs Of Old Age: Loss Of Memory ... I Forget The Other Two.

Old Age Is When Broadness Of The Mind And Narrowness Of The Waist Change Places.

Exercise? I Get It On The Golf Course. When I See My Friends Collapse, I Run For The Paramedics.

I'm Nuts And I Know It. But So Long As I Make 'em Laugh, They Ain't Going To Lock Me Up.

All Men Make Mistakes, But Married Men Find Out About Them Sooner.