I Have This Mistress: Show Business.

I Don't Want To Be A Spokesman For Family Values, But That's The Way My Standup Is Perceived.

As An Actor, That's Nerve-wracking Enough [drunk And Doing Coke] Because You Have To Do It At The Right Level.

You Know, Before I Would Think, My Cab Driver Hates Me. Now I Think My Limo Driver Hates Me.

It Was Very Nerve-wracking For Me. I Had To Be Drunk And Have A Threesome. I'm Not That Guy. Bobby Cannavale Is That Guy. But It Was Vegas And Things Got Crazy, And It Happened. We Go To Vegas To Try To Sign Elvis Presley And Things Get Crazy. My Character [in Vinyl] Is Stoned.

Sex After One Child Shows Down. After Twins... Ooh... I'll Tell You What It Is For Us. I'll Share It With You. Every Three Months. We Don't Plan It That Way. That's Just How It Works Out. It's The Weirdest Thing. You Know What I Do? Every Time I Have Sex, The Next Day I Pay My Estimated Tax. My Quarterlies Are Due. If It's Oral Sex, I Renew My Driver's License.