I Have Nothing But Respect For You

I've Got The Brain Of A Four Year Old. I'll Bet He Was Glad To Be Rid Of It.

My Mother Loved Children - She Would Have Given Anything If I Had Been One.

One Of The Best Hearing Aids A Man Can Have Is An Attentive Wife.

A Cigar Makers Organization Once Said That I Was The Most Famous Cigar Smoker In The World. I Dont Know If Thats True, But Once While Visiting Havana, I Went To A Cigar Factory. There Were Four Hundred People There Rolling Cigars, And When They Saw Me, They All Stood Up And Applauded.

To Write An Autobiography Of Groucho Marx Would Be As Asinine As To Read An Autobiography Of Groucho Marx.