I Hate Reality Shows That Are Not

But You Do Have To Learn, If You Want To Be A Satirist, You Can't Be Part Of The Party. Meaning, You Can't Go Horseback Riding With Jackie O In Central Park If You're Going To Make A Joke About Her That Night.

Happiness, At My Age, Is Breathing

Mick Jagger Could French-kiss A Moose. He Has Child-bearing Lips.

The Fun Of Working On The Road Means Stealing From Hotels. I've Been Doing It For So Long, I Have A Set Of Towels From The Ark.

She Doesn't Understand The Concept Of Roman Numerals. She Thought We Just Fought In World War Eleven.