I Guess 14% Plus Jesus Equals Victory

I Did Learn Something Interesting [while At The Atlanta Airport]. You Have To Be A Member Of The Tsa In Order To Legally Perform A Cavity Search. My Apologies To The Staff Of Cinnabon, But You Guys Should Really Keep That Extra Frosting Where The Customers Can Find It.

I Love The Internet, And The Internet Loves Me Back. Why Else Would It Offer Me So Much Sex?

I'm A Junkie For Exhaustion, And I'm A Junkie For Setting Up My Expectations Too High And Then Trying To Meet Them.

Am I Proud Of Being Straight? No. You Know Why? Because If I Start Acting Proud, That's Going To Make Me Seem Kind Of Gay.

Marijuana Is A Gateway Drug That Can Lead To Awful Things, Like Phish Getting Back Together.