I Don't Think Anything Predated Christians.

For My First Wedding, I Cried All The Way Down The Aisle. My Fake Eyelash Came Off. My Nose Was Red. My Eyes Were Swollen. I'm Not One Of Those Pretty Criers.

I Do A Lot Of Stairs, A Lot Of Planks, A Lot Of Squats, A Lot Of Treadmill, A Lot Of Screaming - And I Do It Four Times A Week.

I Take The Subway All The Time Here In New York. I Love People Watching And Trying To Figure Out Everybody's Background, Especially Teenagers - They're So Uninhibited When They Display Puppy Love. I Concoct Stories In My Mind: 'are You Guys Like Romeo And Juliet?'

I Have So Much Hair; I Have A Separate Wig Closet In My House.

My Grandmother Taught Me That Accomplishments Meant Less Than What You Left Behind. I Started To Ask Myself What Impact My Comedy Would Have On People's Lives. And That Changed My Act. I Got Cleaner. I Stopped Talking About Generic Stuff Like Airplane Peanuts And Started Speaking The Truth About My Gift.