I Do Still Get Intimidated By Certain

My Wife Said To Me 'i Hope You Win... But If You Do And You Go Up And Say You Love Me, Don't Think It Makes Up For Never Saying It When We're Alone.

I Married A Saint - Well, A Saint Who Curses.

I've Had People Say To Me, 'look At The Sky, The Fields, The Ocean, The Beautiful Sunset. Isn't That Proof Positive Of God?' Following That Line Of Thought, Look At The Magnificent Rainbows After A Big Rainstorm. Isn't That Proof Positive That God Is Gay?

My Wife Gets All The Money I Make. I Just Get An Apple And Clean Clothes Every Morning.

Everyone Should Have Kids. They Are The Greatest Joy In The World. But They Are Also Terrorists. You'll Realize This As Soon As They Are Born And They Start Using Sleep Deprivation To Break You.