I Can't Get No Respect.

People Seldom Live Up To Their Baby Pictures.

When I Was A Kid We Were So Poor, If I Hadn't Been A Boy I Wouldn't Have Had Anything To Play With.

If Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder, So Is Ugliness.

I Told My Doctor I Got Water On My Knee, He Gave Me A Sponge And Raised His Fee!

My Wife Can't Cook At All. She Made Chocolate Mousse. An Antler Got Stuck In My Throat.