I Can Be Most Colorful And Inventive

Only By Being Prepared For Your Death Can You Ever Truly Live.

It's Like Time Travel Only, You Know, Slower.

Winter Near The Shore Is Cold. The Wind Kicks Up A Salty Mist And Elephant Seals Come To Shore To Trumpet And Rut And Birth Their Pups. Retired People Put Sweaters On Their Lap Dogs And Drag Them Down The Street On Retractable Leashes In A Nightly Parade Of Doggy Humiliation. Surfers Don Their Wetsuits Against The Chill Of Storm Waves And White Sharks Adjust Their Diets To Include Shrink-wrapped Dude-snacks On Fiberglass Crackers.

... But To Remain Historically Accurate, I Would Have Had To Leave Out An Important Question That I Felt Needed To Be Addressed, Which Is, 'what If Jesus Had Known Kung Fu?

I Think I'm What They Call A Never-was.