I Believe That I Have Such A

Over The Summer We Chatted One Night While Angie Stripped A Bed, Changed Wet Sheets, Comforted And Repajamaed A Toddler, And Chased Down A Car Of Speeding Teenagers While Shaking A Brick At Them, Never Once Interrupting The Conversation Or Setting Down Her Margarita. The Only Reason This Woman Isn't President Of General Motors Is Because She's Chosen Not To Be.

Although I Get A Lot Of Specialty Services Like Wraps, Scrubs, And Mustache Removal, My Favorite Is The Simple Manicure/pedicure. They Work On Your Hands And Feet At The Same Time While You Sit In A Vibrating Chair. I Call It The Sorority Girls Version Of A Threesome.

I Never Sleep On The Plane. I Have To Be Awake And Using My Mind Power To Keep It In The Air

Expressing Political Opinion Can Be A Powerful Way To Establish A Character's Voice When Writing Fiction.

I’m Instantly Mortified By My Fat, Uncontrollable Mouth, But That’s When It Occurs To Me That My Humor Is A Self-defense Mechanism. Even Though I May Come Off Like A Stark Raving Asshat, Being Funny Is The Most Important Tool I Have To Stay Sane. The Ability To Say What I Think Is The Key To Allowing Me To Feel In Control.