I Beg To Present You As A

I Know I Had No Hand In Making This War, And I Know I Will Make More Sacrifices To-day Than Any Of You To Secure Peace.

If Forced To Choose Between The Penitentiary And The White House For Four Years, I Would Say The Penitentiary, Thank You.

The Carping And Bickering Of Political Factions In The Nation's Capital Reminds Me Of Two Pelicans Quarreling Over A Dead Fish.

War Is Too Serious A Matter To Leave To Soldiers.

To Secure The Safety Of The Navigation Of The Mississippi River I Would Slay Millions. On That Point I Am Not Only Insane, But Mad... I Think I See One Or Two Quick Blows That Will Astonish The Natives Of The South And Will Convince Them That, Though To Stand Behind A Big Cottonwood And Shoot At A Passing Boat Is Good Sport And Safe, It May Still Reach And Kill Their Friends And Families Hundreds Of Miles Off. For Every Bullet Shot At A Steamboat, I Would Shoot A Thousand 30-pounder Parrots Into Even Helpless Towns On Red, Ouachita, Yazoo, Or Wherever A Boat Can Float Or Soldier March.