I Am Infinitely Strange To Myself.

Just Those Three Words, Said And Meant. I Love You. They Were Quite Hopeless. He Said It As He Might Have Said, I Have Cancer. His Fairy Story.

On The Whole, Dialogue Is The Most Difficult Thing, Without Any Doubt. It's Very Difficult, Unfortunately. You Have To Detach Yourself From The Notion Of A Lifelike Quality. You See, Actually Lifelike, Tape-recorded Dialogue Like This Has Very Little To Do With Good Novel Dialogue. It's A Matter Of Getting That Awful Tyranny Of Mimesis Out Of Your Mind, Which Is Difficult.

I Knew I Would Always Want To Go On Living With Myself, However Hollow I Became, However Diseased.

No Amount Of Reading And Intelligent Deduction Could Supplant The Direct Experience.

Alive. Alive In The Way That Death Is Alive.