I Always Wanted To Write As Much

Twitter Is One Of Those Dangerous Toys That If It Gets In The Hands Of The Wrong Person You'll Have The Mind Of A 12-year-old Masquerading As An Adult.

New York Stat Agreed To Pay $12 Million To Settle A Lawsuit Filed Three Decades Ago By Inmates Swept Up In The Bloody 1971 Revolt At Attica Prison. The Settlement Will Be Paid In The Form Of Chocolate Bars And Packs Of Newports That Can Be Picked Up In The Commissary.

You Know How It Is With Writing. You Just Write What You Want To Write. There's No Way To Predict What Is Good Or Bad. You Just Do What You Think Is Funny, And Either It Works Or You're Finished. It's Impossible To Predict Anything.

The Senate Was Holding Hearings On Deceptive Sweepstakes Practices. These Companies Target The Elderly, Making Them Think They're Going To Get A Bunch Of Money, When In Reality They Never See Any Of It. The Most Popular Of These Scams Is Called Social Security.

That’s The Beauty Of Being A Comedian: It’s The One Job You’re Allowed To Do That. We’re Lucky. We’re Really Lucky.