Houston People Are Way Cool. They're Smart,

Now Obviously Popularity Isn't Everything When It Comes To Stand Up Comedy, But The Art Form Itself Is Better Today Than It Ever Has Before. I Think There Are More Great Comics. I Think The Standard Is Higher. The Critical Analysis Is A Little Harsher, But That Is Also Good. Maybe People Have A Higher Standard Than Before, Maybe They Are A Little More Judgmental, A Little More Brutal, That Makes People Work Harder. It Makes The Stand Up Better.

The Comics I Hate Are Thieves. Nothing's More Disgusting Than A Guy Who Steals Another Person's Ideas And Tries To Claim Them As His Own.

The Planet's Spinning A Thousand Miles An Hour Around This Gigantic Nuclear Explosion While These People Roll These Machines With Rubber Tires Over This Hard Surface That We've Laid Down Over The Planet So That We Can Easily Move Ourselves Back And Forth.

There's A Never-ending Ocean Of Techniques Out There.

I Talk So Much About Sex That Girls Just Want To Meet Me.