Better To Be A Jerk That Knees

Never Put The Story In The Lead. Let 'em Have A Hot Shot Of Ambiguity Right Between The Eyes.

Gridlock Is Great. My Motto Is, 'don't Just Do Something. Stand There.'

Give Your Main Clause A Little Space. Prose Is Not Like Boxing; The Skilled Writer Deliberately Telegraphs His Punch, Knowing That The Reader Wants To Take The Message Directly On The Chin.

When I Need To Know The Meaning Of A Word, I Look It Up In A Dictionary.

A Reader Should Be Able To Identify A Column Without Its Byline Or Funny Little Picture On Top Purely By Look Or Feel, Or Its Turgidity Ratio.