Because She Is Too Ugly To Kiss

You Fail All The Time, But You Aren't A Failure Until You Start Blaming Someone Else.

I Thought I Did Until I Looked At Some Old Game Films. (when Asked If He Played College Football)

Hear About The Californian Terrorist That Tried To Blow Up A Bus? Burned His Lips On The Exhaust Pipe. He Can Take His'n And Beat Your'n, Then He Can Take Your'n And Beat His'n.

The Trouble With Most Coaches Is That They Start With The Assumption That Everybody Is A Turd. And That Ain't Right.

He May Not Be In A Class All By Himself, But It Don't Take Long To Call The Roll.