As An Actor, You're Never Busy Enough.

I Guess I Am Attracted To Older Women. I'm Looking For A 40-something Who Has Had Her Heart Broken Two Or Three Hundred Times. She's Going To Be Fun!

Compare Sending Someone A Text Message And Getting A Love Letter Delivered By Carrier Pigeon. No Contest.

Some Comics Really Thrive On Being Disrespectful, Especially Toward Women, And It's Somehow Understood As Edgy, But I'm The Opposite. I've Never Liked Curse Words For That Reason.

I Celebrate Masculinity When I'm Onstage.

Guys Want A 500 Horsepower Car. I'd Rather Have One Horsepower - In A Horse. That's Macho. You Go To Pick Up Your Date And You Show Up On A Horse.