If A Thing Is Worth Having, It's

The Two-headed Boy In The Circus Never Had Such A Headache.

A Man Who's Intoxicated All The Time Doesn't Need Sympathy.

I Never Worry About Being Driven To Drink; I Just Worry About Being Driven Home.

I Don't Drink Anymore, On The Other Hand I Don't Drink Any Less Either.

A Woman Drove Me To Drink And I Didn't Even Have The Decency To Thank Her.