All My Humor Is Based Upon Destruction

If You Believe There Is A God, A God That Made Your Body, And Yet You Think That You Can Do Anything With That Body That's Dirty, Then The Fault Lies With The Manufacturer.

...catholicism Is Like Howard Johnson, And What They Have Are These Franchises And They Give All These People Different Franchises In The Different Countries But They Have One Government, And When You Buy The Howard Johnson Franchise You Can Apply It To The Geography - Whatever's Cool For That Area - And Then You, You Know, Pay The Bread To The Main Office.

Life Is A Four-letter Word.

You Got To Pay Your Dues To Get The Joke. Besides, Laughter Is Cheap And Very Portable. If There's A Pogrom, Or They're Blaming You For The Plague, Nothing Is Easier To Pack Than A Sense Of Humor.

Children Ought To Watch Pornographic Movies: It's Healthier Than Learning About Sex From Hollywood.