After A Disappointing Summer, Humpty Dumpty Has

I'm Handsome, No Ands, Buts Or Ifs.

My Mother On Her Death Bed Told Me, 'where The Hell Did That Kangaroo Come From!?' - It Just Popped Out Of Nowhere And Punched Her In The Head And Caused A Cerebral Hemorrhage, So I Thought I'd Move To A Country Where There Were No Kangaroos!

Famous Playboy Hugh Hefner Managed To Successfully Stop An Order Of Monks From Operating A Business On His Property. The Police Forced The Friars To Close Down Their Stall, Which Was Outside The Playboy Mansion Where They Had Been Selling Flowers. Said One Friar, Well, If It Was Anyone Else We May Have Gotten Away From It, But, Unfortunately, Only Hugh Can Prevent Florist Friars.

Rudolf The Red-nosed Reindeer, Dead At 53. Over Barcelona Today, The Famed Reindeer Was Hit By A Flock Of Seagulls And A 747. Eyewitnesses Report, That The Reindeer In Spain Was Hit Mainly By The Plane.

We All Have A Dinosaur Deep Within Us Just Trying To Get Out.