A Lot Of The Comedians Don't Even

When Someone You Love Is Hurting, If It Was Possible, You'd Want To Take Their Pain For Them. But Do I Really Want Cramps And Sore Boobs?

Aristotle Said, Love Is Composed Of A Single Soul Inhabiting Two Bodies. Isn't That A Three-way?

My Mom Told Me She Thinks A Man In The Market Felt Her Up Today. I Asked, Where Did He Touch You? She Said, On My Knee, Bobby.

I Never Went To Camp As A Kid. I Couldn't Get Into An Ivy League School. I Wouldn't Join A Biker Club.

Full House Was A Show That Was Done For Ten-year-olds. The Critics Hated It. They Said Terrible, Terrible Things About It. But It Should Have Been Reviewed By Ten-year-olds. That's Who It Was Made For. They Loved It. And If They Loved It, Great. Why The Hell Does A Fifty-year-old Guy Working At A Big Newspaper Have To Tell Me I'm A Piece Of Crap?